Heartstrings
by eternallydaydreaming
Summary: She always drags Donnie on a leash. He was about to let her go when one kiss sealed his fate once again, and one brother has finally had enough of April's game.


A/N: A little one shot that takes place right after A Foot Too Big (TMNT 2012, season 3). This fic is more therapy for me and really needed to get it off my chest. I recently watched the episode again and the same feelings resurfaced about how the episode ends so I decided to write this fic even though I am in the currently working on a multi-chapter fic for TMNT.

* * *

"….And she kissed me!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! She kissed Donnie?! April kissed Donnie?! This was the same girl who just two days earlier had been presented with the gift of a homemade music box only to rip Donnie's heart out and stomp all over it.

"And here's the best part – not a little peck on the cheek. Full on mouth kiss! So you can suck it, Raph! Apparently I do have a chance with her!"

Donnie jumped up and broke into a ridiculously stupid happy dance – one of those kind of locomotion in place kind of dance. A side of me wanted me to be happy for him that there's hope for a turtle to find love with a human girl. The other side of me also knew that's a pretty slim chance to ever be reality. I absently stirred the pot of simmering spaghetti sauce while I replayed the events in my head. Ripped his heart out…then kissed him. Ripped his heart out….kissed him. Ripped…kissed…

"Uh, Mikey…."

With a startled jump, I whipped my head around at her voice. April's large blue eyes were filled with concern. She really was a sweet person. She cared about her friends – always made sure we were happy and loan an ear when we were sad. She has a big heart; she opened her home to us when we lost our own home, lost our father, lost our hope. But why couldn't I shake this dark brooding I was developing about her.

"Uh, yeah. Everything's fine," I faked my cheeriness, plastering huge grin on my face.

"You sure?" she asked, pointing at me. "You have a death grip on that spoon, and you look as if you just finished off a murder scene rather than been prepping dinner."

My eyes glanced to the wooden spoon in my right hand and sure enough I was white-knuckling it. The stove and white counter were speckled with a chaotic splattering of red dots…as well as the backsplash…and my plastron. Shoot - forgot to put on an apron. At least I don't have to worry about tomato stains on my shell unlike human clothes. How hard was I stirring anyway? I peeked into the pot and sighed in relief that there was more than plenty of sauce for dinner.

"What exactly was on your mind? Never seen you distracted in the kitchen before?"

I wondered if that was really true. I am easily distractible. It's the reason Leo was always impatient with me and why Raph always smacked me. I guess cooking was the one thing that focused me…well most times, I guess.

"Come on, Mikey, talk to me." She smiled and playfully bumped her hip against mine.

April grabbed a rag and began wiping down the counter, indicating she wasn't leaving without answers. Maybe it was her sixth sense of knowing what people are feeling or thinking. It's a cool yet creepy gift.

I sighed and muttered, "Why did you do it, April?"

She abruptly stopped scrubbing and slowly shifted her gaze to me. I could see her from the corner of my eye but I didn't dare turn to face her. I didn't know what I was afraid of – angering her, hurting her, losing my temper….? No, it wasn't any of those - I was afraid of losing my courage. I had these feelings bottled for a while from all those other times she teased Donnie before crushing his spirit again. It was now or never.

"Why did you kiss Donnie?" My voice came out as a whisper to my own tympanum so I wasn't sure if April heard me…that is until she groaned with a hint of whining.

"He told you?"

I whipped my heard towards her in disbelief.

"Of course he told us! It was the highlight of his day. Pretty sure it's also high on his top ten greatest moments of his life."

Her face suddenly broke away from me so I could no longer read her feelings. I had no idea if she's ashamed of her actions, regretted them, or if there were real feelings behind what she did. These must be the same questions that always swirled around in Donnie's mind. Does she really care for him? Does he have a real chance with her? Why won't she give any straight answers? And why did she play this game with two guys? I felt my eye ridge crease into a slight scowl and my eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"It's not right what you're doing, ya know."

Her eyes shifted back into a sideways glance.

"You're dragging both Casey and Donnie on a leash and have them feeding out of your palm. Someone is gonna to get hurt when this is all done, April. It's not right…"

"You wouldn't understand, Mikey!"

"Understand?" I repeated, dumbfounded. "Understand what?!"

I couldn't take it anymore. This insult on my intelligence. The look of disappointment in Donnie's eyes every time she rejected him. The spark of hope every time he is rewarded with a hug or a peck on the cheek for saving Dr. Kirby or for creating retromutagen. These were not casual acts of gratitude in Donnie's eyes. Every kiss was a ray of hope that there can be more to them than friendship.

"Donnie loves you!" I hissed not wanting the whole house to hear us. It was a big farm house but with six people living under one roof, it got pretty cramped around here. "You're not stupid, April. You already know this. That's why you cut him off when he wanted to confess his feelings during the invasion. You know, when you were bandaging him. He made you that music box, pouring his emotions into that one gift, and you set that box to the side, crushing his very soul with that rejection. The whole Bigfoot incident opened his eyes to what he really meant to you. That whole…what is that phrase….Raph has said it before…unquenched love?" My wildly waving arms seemed to act on their own now as I continued on my tirade. "You know what I'm trying to say! He was about to finally let you go, knowing he will never mean anything to you but your mutant friend. He was going to move on with his life! And _you_ had to rope him back in with one kiss! _On the mouth!_ "

April seemed to have shrunk during my speech. Her shoulders hunched over as she slouched against the counter. She refused to look me in the eyes, but I saw the small glistening stream trailing a path down her left cheek. It twisted me heart to actually cause her to cry but someone had to say it.

"Look, April," I softened my tone in an attempt to not make a bigger scene and drawing questions from the others. "Donnie would do absolutely anything for you. He would go to the moon and back if it would make you happy. Would Casey do that for you?"

No response. Complete silence. Even the crickets had quit chirping. What was she thinking? I mean seriously?! Casey may have had the hots for her but he didn't love her - not like how Donnie did. Didn't she realize that? Didn't she care? Or was Raph right? Are we nothing more than giant turtles destined to a loveless, lonely life?

"April?" I reached out and lightly pulled her chin so she had no choice but meet my gaze. "We may be mutant turtles but we aren't like normal turtles. We have real human feelings. We know how to love. We also know hurt and sadness and loneliness. We feel them all."

April opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. I waited a bit longer hoping for the smallest glimmer of light to clear up matters, but she offered nothing. Her eyelids fell halfway and her eyes shifted sideways but still concealed whatever feelings were in her heart. I released her chin and sighed, defeated in my quest for knowledge. I have never lost my cool. I usually can take the high road and ease tension with the perfect dose of humor. However, my hands clenched tightly at my side. My face heated up; if I wasn't so green I may have actually turned red. Tears stung my eyes but I willed them to stay in place.

"I thought you're my friend, April…"

"I am!"

"Friends don't screw over their friends' brother!"

April jumped back; her eyes wide in shock. I even surprised myself how loudly I yelled at her but there was no stopping now.

"Everyone always thinks I'm the one who needs to be protected 'cause I'm the baby of the house. But Donnie is actually the most sensitive, the most emotionally fragile. He hides it behind his smarts. He knows how to rationalize his feelings and his actions but he is the quickest one to break under pressure. If you keep him dragging him along and end up breaking his heart, it will devastate him and I will never…f-f-forgive you for it." I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to still the quiver in my voice. "Y-you need to get _this_ figured out and make it right. You need to make a choice once and for all. Then you need to tell Donnie and Casey how you truly feel about them. Do it before irreversible damage is done."

Once again, we stood in the dreaded silence – her eyes locked on the floor while I stared her down as if I would spontaneously develop x-ray vision and see into her heart. Blurp, blurp, blurp! I snapped back to reality as the spaghetti sauce bubbled violently, popping sauce out of the pot.

"Shoot!"

I raced back to the pot and began stirring, praying I didn't burn the bottom. When I peeked over my shoulder, I was met with an empty kitchen. I released one final groan before tasting the sauce and then added a pinch of salt in an attempt to cover the slight charcoal taste.

"As good as it's gonna get, I guess," I muttered, not satisfied with my patchwork. The damage was done and it couldn't be saved. I would have a disappointed house tonight but they will at least get over this lapse in judgment. I shrugged it off and plastered my characteristic huge grin and shouted "Dinner's ready!"

* * *

Spring cleaning! My brothers have always teased me for loving to do chores. Let me tell you a secret. I hate chores! I'm a teenager – of course I hate chores. I'd rather spend my time playing video games or watching Crognard. But it's a necessary part of life. It's either clean or live in filth. And Sensei would never have had us living in filth, which I thanked my lucky stars he never checked our bedrooms. Mine would have given him a stroke. My heart sunk a bit as I replayed the image of Shredder throwing my father down the drain, but I had to keep hope that he was ok and made it out alive. He had to – 'cause he was totally awesome at that mystical ninjitsu stuff. So how do I survive doing chores? I make it fun – duh! I know how to rock out even if I'm dusting. One of the few times I actually get impress my bros! Who else could hang upside down and dust the chandeliers without a major head rush? No one else compared!

"Hey, April! Look at me!"

My head whipped around to see Donnie (currently upside down from my perspective) twirling a mop life a bo. A bucket of water dangled at one end but gracefully spun around in the air under the brooms guidance. Because of the rapid rotations, none of the water spilled out. I'm sure Donnie knew the sciencey reasons behind the phenomenon, but I was mystified as if I was a child at a magic show. Yet April just walked by as if he was invisible. His face dropped in embarrassment of not being able to captivate her interest. April just went on as if nothing changed, as if my words to her last night meant nothing. I sighed sympathetically.

"Hey, Donnie, that was really freakin' rad!" I popped a thumb up to emphasize my enthusiasm.

Donnie rolled his eyes and mumbled a thanks. He dipped his mop in the water and scrubbed it against the hardwood floors. His motions were just as solemn as his face.

 _Y-you need to get this figured out and make it right._

I had to give her the benefit of a doubt that perhaps she didn't have it figured it out yet. She was also giving Casey the same cold shoulder she had been giving Donnie. I guess one night wouldn't fix everything. Just like me, she too had real human emotions to work through. I just wish I could get into her head and see how those gears were turning and processing the emotions.

I traipsed across the wire like a tight-rope walker, landing in the hall that led down to the bedrooms. I dusted the doorway trim when my foot accidentally knocked against the door to April's room and it creaked open. I reached out to close the door when something caught corner of my eye. I surveyed my surroundings to be sure no one spotted me as I slipped into her room. This was a dangerous mission as a girl's room was a sacred sanctuary (which was why she's the only person who didn't have to bunk with a roommate) and would be in severe trouble if caught. I tip-toed toward her bed to get a better view but there it was…on her night stand…

"The music box."

She had abandoned it in the living room right after Donnie had offered it to her. She had ran out of that room as if it was on fire, leaving Donnie in the ashes of his broken heart. I never saw what had happened to the box though. I just assumed Donnie threw it away. I reached out and opened the box and the picture of Donnie's cheesy mug greeted me with his little nerdy smile. But something else was taped next to his picture; something that wasn't there when Donnie had first showed me the final product. Written neatly in cursive was the phrase "You're my mutant." The phrase pulled at my heartstrings but in two different directions. One string pulled toward hope and joy but the other direction, a string was tied to conflicted confusion.

"Girls are complicated," I muttered with a mix of anger and annoyance. Raph could be ruthlessly mean when expressing his emotions, but at least you knew what was on his mind or at least will know if you met his fist. That's how boys are. Girls can keep their games and planning out their safety nets.

I closed the box and successfully slipped out of the room undetected. I won't tell Donnie that she kept the music box. Wouldn't be fair to give him too much hope. Ain't my responsibility. I just hoped April resolved this sooner rather than later. In the end, all I can do is root my brother's happiness in which ever form it may come.


End file.
